BY NICOLA HARE
“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my
angel mother.” – Abraham Lincoln.
Monday marked the
start of my week of gratitude. A week to be thankful for all that I’ve been
blessed with: life, friendships, family, circumstances. I think it’s easy to
forget sometimes that whilst we may not have everything, we are also incredibly
blessed to have what we have, no matter how small it may appear to be. As I
pondered on what I was most grateful for, it seemed almost mad that I hadn’t
written this piece earlier. One day a year doesn’t seem enough to give thanks for
a person who gives so much, who sacrifices everything and who loves
unconditionally.
In honour of my
week of gratitude, I want to say thank you to a woman of strength, courage and
grace: Mama.
My mother, like a
lot of African mothers has a favourite saying: “when I die, you will see” and
when I was young, it often irritated me because it always followed a lecture
about not appreciating everything that she’d done for me. She would yell and
scold and then she’d go silent, like a lioness that was preparing for an
attack. Thankfully, it never came. As
I’ve grown older, there’s something quite sentimental about the saying: “when I
die, you will see”, in fact, the last time my mother said it, I chuckled.
It wasn’t how she
said or the why she had said it but it was the realisation that she no longer
needed to threaten me with “when I die, you will see” because I have already
seen. Growing up, the words meant nothing, I mean not really, I was too young
to even imagine a world where it was possible for my mother to not be present.
Then, when I was old enough to understand the words, I understood them in the
most literal and plain way. Now, however, I chuckle because as she throws this
statement at me, all I see is love.
I wrote this
letter for my mother, perhaps it’s for all mothers, for all that they’ve done
and all that they will continue to do. It’s a recognition of what it
is I see. Mama, this one is for you:
Dear Mama,
I see.
I see your unconditional love and
friendship. At every hurdle, at every step and at every obstacle, you have been
there, to encourage, to guide and to protect. Your love knows no bounds and for
that, the words thank you do not seem enough. I laugh as you post everything I
do on Facebook but I see that you are my greatest fan. I nod when you lecture
me but I see that you only want the very best for your little girl. I ignore
when you warn me of false friends but I see that you are only trying to protect
me. I sulk when you say no but I see that you know that I deserve better.
I want to say thank you, Mama, for letting
me see. You have comforted me through moments of doubt and anger, you saw and
believed that I was great before I ever did. You taught me how to love and
appreciate, you taught me to work for things rather than to expect them. You
taught me to be bold and brave. You taught me to believe in myself, to love
myself, to be myself. Mama, I see.
Mama, I sometimes forget that you are also
human, that you carry burdens on your shoulders but I see. I see all that
you’ve sacrificed so that I could live my very best life. You do not let me see
your battle wounds though I know that there isn’t a day that you do not fight
for us.
You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are
the greatest woman on earth. There aren’t enough words to capture what you are
and I can only hope and pray that I am one day, half the woman that you are.
I want you to see that because of you, I am
what I am today. So, thank you Mama for letting me see. I love you.
Your Daughter,
Nicola.
So sweet and encouraging to us mothers to keep on pushing. You are definitely a lovely daughter if you can sit down and see all these about your mother.
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