BY NICOLA HARE
"You may write me down in history, with
your bitter twisted lies, you may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like
dust, I rise." – Maya Angelou
One of my
favourite poems of all time belongs to the great Maya Angelou. Still I Rise has always been a way of
grounding me in my thoughts or questions about who I am and so, it seemed
fitting that I would introduce this piece; I Am with a quote from the poem.
Years ago, I
must’ve been 13, I had a class called citizenship and at the time; it was just
another lesson that had to be crossed off on a school day before I went home.
It’s only now that I realise how pivotal lessons such as those were; my
teacher, Miss Klienfield was the first teacher to perhaps challenge what it is
I believed about the world. There were many lessons and there were many
questions that we were faced with but the one lesson that has never escaped me
was the class about labelling.
The term ‘labelling’ or ‘to label’ is
defined as attaching a label to
something.
Socially, labelling is the theory of how
self-identity and/or behaviour of individuals may be determined and/or
influenced by the terms that are used to describe or classify them. The term is
essentially associated with the concepts of stereotyping or self-fulfilling
prophecy.
Now imagine,
13-year-old Nicola, sitting in class, last lesson before home-time and I was
truly dumbfounded by what was being explained. I mean, I would like to believe
that I understood what was being taught but if I’m being truly honest, I had
always disassociated myself with such a concept. There were no stereotypes that
I felt I associated myself with and so surely, the concept must not apply to
me.
The truth is;
more often than not, definitions, labels, they do not belong to the defined. As
a black woman, what is attached or associated to me is the concept of ‘double
lacking’; for I am Black and I am woman and for a long time; I believed that it
was true; being a woman and being Black both seemed to be inferior in the eyes
of society and thus, it must be true that as a black woman, I am double
lacking. To define me as double lacking because of my woman-ness and my
blackness is entirely comedic to me now because whilst I am woman and I am
Black and I do not lack.
Understand this
now: what you look like or the perception that people may have of you does not
determine who you are. What’s maddening is how easily we are cornered into
these labels and how effortlessly one can fall into the trap of labelling
because we choose to believe those who have defined us. The act of labelling is
such a psychological dysphoria because it is not simply about having a label
attached to you; it is about the embodiment of said label.
Imagine a
puppet master willing his puppets to move and act according to him, the puppets
follow because they know nothing else, they are merely pawns, props in the
grand scheme of things. It is not the puppets that are rewarded for their
entertainment but rather the puppet master. It is not the puppets that are
granted favour and opportunity, but it is the puppet master. It is not the
puppets that determine their fate but rather, the puppet master. We want to
convince ourselves that we are the puppet masters of our lives; that the show
is ours and the pawns are those that we will to our cause when in reality, a
lot of us have allowed society, societal norms and labels to make us puppets.
We fall into the narrative that has been written for us without questioning
what that does to who we are.
I am Black and
I am woman. Those two things will never change, nor do I want them to change
because they are a part of who I am. I say part because I am more than just
Black and woman. I am strong and I am intelligent. I am ambitious and I am
powerful, diligent and creative. We become so consumed with other people’s
definitions of who we are that we lose ourselves and how to define ourselves.
Have you ever
wondered why people are so uncomfortable with claiming their greatness? It is
not simply about fearing one’s work but our greatest fear is often not what
we’re bad at something but rather the possibility that we are good at it. It is
our light that terrifies us and is that not a maddening thought. Have you ever
questioned why we are so quick to criticise ourselves and yet when it comes to
time to compliment ourselves; we’re embarrassed, shy, we think it foolish. I
wrote a post earlier this summer and explained how I make a habit of telling
myself of how great I am every morning. I tell myself that because I am great;
it is who I am and it is important that I identify with that.
People will
always have a perception of you and more often than not, said perception will
be projected onto you. What is important is knowing who you are despite that.
You see, knowing of oneself is not simply about how you view yourself but it is
also the maintaining of such image despite a label or stereotype being attached
to you. We need to learn to be the definers of our own lives and destinies
otherwise we become puppets, living for the master that does not know of our
means and sees us as only objects.
You are not
lacking because you are Black, you are not lacking because you are woman, you
are not lacking because of your size or your class. The standards that are
placed onto these labels do not determine who we are, understanding that is the
beginning of defining who you are.
So here within
lies my challenge. I challenge you to define who you are. This is not a
self-critique or general definitions of you are. This is about defining who you
are as more than the exterior. Say it out loud or write it down. Just begin
with I Am…
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